If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
