Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
