He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
