my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
