IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
