I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
