She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize