guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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