Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
