I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
