Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
