ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
