The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
