So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
