I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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