I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
