All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
