And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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