Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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