What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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