Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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