my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
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