why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
