So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
