So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
