It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Everything about him screamed your future.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
