i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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