is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize