she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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