i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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