We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
