That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
