Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Houston, we have a blender
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize