quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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