god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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