I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
