chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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