i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
