I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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