The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
