I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
