If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
