Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
