It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
