My first STD was from a foam party
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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