fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize