Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
