The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Naked. naked and bneed help.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
