The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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