i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
