you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize