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we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
