Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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