i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
