Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
