I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
