i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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