can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
