If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
