you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
