I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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