I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
