i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
