And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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